不能适怀

今天又接到一个坏消息，T的母亲去世的消息。这已是近期的第二个让人叹息和伤感的消息。虽然对活到如此年龄的我，这些发生在身边的人的坏消息会以逐渐加快的速度出现，是无可避免的事，但我还是不能控制自己的伤感。虽然生老病死是必经之路，这自然规则，我还是不能适怀。

我害怕也不想面对事实。难以想象一个总是出现在你身旁的人，突然一天的离你而去，再也看不到熟悉的脸孔，听不到熟悉的声音，摸不到熟悉的身体。这是多么可怕和残酷的现实。

逝者已矣,生者当如斯, 说得容易，做起来难啊！

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone

W. H. Auden

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.